Lament the idol rider
Memories arise while one
Browses the aisles
A roadside gift shop
Search for the perfect
Piece of Identity
Dark hair
Dark eyes
Scent of sage and chocolate
Strong Arms
Wind blew in through
The Cracks
We looked upon
Rolling Hills
Jade Forests
Through grease-smeared glass
And Paradise resides
Beyond the Next
Blind Curve
Keep Scratching
Keep Detaching
You'll Strike A Nerve
Someday
Ten years since the day we parted and I forgot to say Hey! 2024 has just been that way. Spinnin' wheels, stuck in reverse. I truly do think about you all the time, except for this year I completely forgot about commemorating your Rainbow Bridge journey. With your sister by your side, I bet the days are jam-packed with roughhousing, lounging, snacking and snoozing. Hopefully there's a system in place so you and lil' get lots and lots of belly rubs.
Your Pa and I have been playing lots of guitar and singing songs to basically keep us out of trouble, but if we get good the plan is to become buskers and travel around in a camper van. You'd have made a great assistant going around to our throng of spectators with the donation hat between your chompers. Too cute with all your salt and pepper ringlets! We'd be sure to sing around the campfire, too, since you always loved going on trips to the beach, mountains and everywhere in-between.
I'm going to let you get back to playing and/or resting. I can't believe I almost let this yearly post slide right on by. You might know this already, but your Grandma passed in June and the days have gone all wonky. Like kids are back in school! It's been tough keeping track of things. You be good and know we think of Our First & Curliest Girl all the time.
Still raw from saying goodbye at the beginning of the month, but it's gotten a bit easier to breathe. Been receiving lovely messages from friends wanting us to know the many ways in which you helped them and provided countless good times that'll last as precious memories. I've been going through letters and photographs and that's been a good way to process all the jumbled emotions. Here are a few snapshots of the Summer of 2012 when you came to visit on your cross country drive to see Barb & Bernie. That was a solo trip you wanted to add to your list of I Did This! You did reach your destination and had a grand adventure with stories to share when the new school year started.
Speaking of road trips, I'm looking for the photos from our family vacations. I'm including this link because not only is it a beautiful story, but it's also about a place we visited to camp and fish. The Tuesday mentioned in the article made my breath catch in my throat.
I'll check in soon with more pictures and thoughts.
It's been two days since you left this place to start a new journey. Odd thing, time. It holds no meaning, serves no particular purpose Right Now since I'm bouncing all over the place with all sorts of Memories & Thoughts. I'll be sharing snippets and photos for a while until I can write a proper thing to describe who you were and what that means to me. I've reached out to the Indio & PacNW crews and those good folks have told me how much they love/admire/appreciate you. They've all relayed similar messages about how you helped them become better people, both for themselves and their loved ones. That's a pretty cool thing for your pals to feel and pass along.
I'll keep this ramble short, but wanted to share that the date you took off for greener fields adds up to be The Number Nine:
Nine is often associated with completion and fulfillment. It represents the end of a cycle, suggesting that something has reached its full potential or purpose.
And yes...I'm still playing guitar...
wedding bells sound the news your body's been found
scatter rice
throw the dice
vegas resounds with tourist traps and vice
while the tides rise along the left coast
fishing boats are lost at sea
now it's just you and me
to navigate this soundscape
without your discordant chords
For me, 2023 never really got out of the blocks. On a global level...?
Wars.
Environmental Disasters.
Mayhem of Every Design.
I'm nursing the sniffles and excited about a repair person coming over this afternoon to clean the dryer vent. What better way to ring in 2024? I'm catching a back to basics vibe for the new year. No declarations of losing weight, crossing off <fill in the blank> on Ye Olde Bucket List, changing careers. More like a literal and figurative cleaning of one's house. This past year has been one of accumulation, but not necessarily of objects and experiences that will propel me on my path. I need to get back to the work of creating rather than procuring. There's a lot of stuff cluttering my closets and noggin. So, over the next 12 months, I shall focus on the things that truly matter: Family, Friends & Cupcakes. This paired down list will keep the important stuff prominent in '24 and beyond.
How quickly we've come back around to 12/12. It's been a rough year for myriad reasons. But in this season of light and love, the 12th of December will forever mark the day you embarked on a journey far, far away from us. Your Pa and I like to picture you and Big Sis playing and resting together in fields filled with toys and treats. Wow! How I remember the drive up to a horse farm darn near the Canadian border wondering what we'd see up there. When the proprietress of the manor introduced you to us, we weren't even sure you were a canine. Curled up in the lady's palm was, what looked like to me and your Pa, a fistful of dark gray wool. Seeing our flummoxed and exasperated faces (hey, it's a long drive from West Seattle to Deming!) she said to us, "One minute!" and ran to the next room with you in her hand. We immediately heard buzzing sounds that lasted mere seconds before the farm marm returned with a tiny shaven creature. It was you! Looking pretty damn close to a nude mouse! Ah, Lil...you were so very tiny and shivering and squeaking...which completely sealed the deal for your Pa and me! We were handed you, nestled in a towel, and made the long trek back down to the big city to begin your adventures with us.
And then we had to introduce you to Pup #1 who'd, by that time, been our only fur baby since bringing her home from Lynden as the 20th century came to a close. Not to tell another puppy's tale, but she didn't want to know you. Your introduction consisted of a single sniff from your sis and then she summarily turned around for you to contemplate her big, curly backside. I am most happy to add, though, the two of you grew to be good buddies as she taught you the ropes of a dog's life. For instance, how to go potty outside in the first few days after you'd joined our family. Neat! You gals went on to have oh-so-many adventures that will ever be precious memories for me and Pa.
Well, it's time to wrap up this little story since I can no longer see for the tears that've made the laptop screen all smeary. There's a whole lot of merry making in which to partake now that we're in the holiday homestretch. Goodies to bake and family dinners to host and stop motion masterpieces to view.
Happy End-of-Year Celebratory Activities To You!
Hey you! Our Ever-And-Forever-#1-Pup!! I check in pretty much all the time, but I save these puppy tales for hot August days. And this year, summer is hellish. Crazy temperatures the world over; oceans have warmed, ancient places reduced to ash. You never had much tolerance for the heat being a Pacific Northwest girl, but I hear the seasons on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge are 100% Just Right.
And so it goes.
I mark your passing with a few sentences every year although you've not strayed far from my side. Your silly, sassy energy is still felt, especially in our closet, where occasionally I hear rustling amongst the hangers and find the odd shoe out of place. And now you've got your little buddy by your side in poochie paradise. We couldn't make it past one week last Christmas with nary a schnauzer in the house, so Pa visited Madisonville and brought home M & M - two jet-colored minis in full-on manic pupette mode. They play with your toys and sleep in your green, fleece-lined basket next to my desk. One of them right now is hanging off the end of the daybed trying to jump onto the keyboard as I type these words.
Your Pa and I are the same homebodies you knew us to be from way back. Quiet pursuits like reading and TV watching are our vibe, along with daydreams of our car trips to the ocean and walks to Lincoln Park. You were the very best companion for all the adventures we shared near and far. Not a day goes by that I don't think about your feisty old self. Like scratching on the laundry room door (where we still keep the kibble) at all hours of the day in the hopes your bowl would get On Demand Refills. But I also cherish the times when you were tucked in snugly beside me in a comfy chair and I'd listen to you snore as I read.
You be good up there / everywhere and continue to show your little sister the ropes...and tasty treats, and blue bones and purple porcupines.
#RainbowBridge #PuppyLife
Selective memory has atrophied the ability to see situations clearly.
But do we not do the things one ought to do?
Like?
Like paying bills.
Playing it safe.
The What-If Game takes up more and more of our time as we find ourselves stuck in a groove from decades ago just like the old timers we once despised.
The mirror is not going to become kinder as we try to pass by without stopping to stare, so best to call that reflection what it really is.
The version of you that was never supposed to come true.
Is she still in there? The girl who'd eat the world for breakfast and serve it up as something transcendent for tea.
We stared at a map on the wall
During a break from paying our dues
Just you and me and the man in the tree
Lens focused on capturing what cannot be seen
A howl from the other room warned of a time to come
That would define us all too soon
Like brilliant silver light from a dying moon
Like a tangled romance getting bad reviews
Life doesn't always fit the narrative you choose
And love isn’t a commodity to be consumed
We eventually stopped staring at that map
Found a road that’d take us where news traveled slow
Like a pattern on the loom we began to emerge
To live our lives without the urge to edit and reframe
We are like a vine that can’t be trained
Disparate threads wind their way to disarray
Like brilliant silver light from a dying moon
Like a tangled romance getting bad reviews
Life doesn't always fit the narrative you choose
And love isn’t something to be misused
Fold back the corners to align the pattern
This highway is long and the journey rough
The signs marking the coastline invite you to stay
But only if you don’t mind perpetual sunshine
And if you can find the throughline along the way
We never found our destination but ended up in heaven all the same
The sea still roars, waves crash even when no one’s around
The two of us left behind the blinding light of recognition
Forever to wander the sacred enclaves of truth and intuition
The stars burn for you and me in our perfect patch of desolation
No song sweeter than the murmurs that call us home
Like brilliant silver light from a dying moon
Like a tangled romance getting bad reviews
Life doesn't always fit the narrative you choose
And love isn’t something to be refused
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