Semi-Daily Scribbles

You Curve, I Curve

OK. Episode 1 of Hi-Phi Nation's second season is basically privileged folk with problems I'd love to have (Takeaway: Do not spend time and money on advanced degrees. Lots of learnin' to be found for free! Develop a skill first that can actually help you, your family, your community and someday beyond ... ) But, this podcast is worth a listen, even though I still don't know the difference between being and doing. My interest is to unpack the reasons why we do the things we do. I like to track commonalities in the human condition, as well as explore experiences that affect certain segments of the population. Why? To gain insight into that most annoying titty twister: What is the meaning of life?

Pay your bills. Trust your intuition. Change your environment in the ways in which you are able if you don't like the scenery. Practice tzedakah. Study the reasons why we are sick. Knit mittens. Pet kittens. Know this to be true.

Goals are mileposts, and life is like the Shinkansen save for those cherry-picked moments of living in the present.

I mean...

 

Really... what is the reason we do anything? Well, the above Thank You note is a hell of a fine one. Learn stuff. Do things. Make art. Pass on whatever you've learned along the way. Good. Bad. For All. For None. It worked for you. It didn't do a goddamn thing for me... Whatever. Swear it: SHARE IT! Why not? If you end up looking foolish, if you sound like a prat, you've struck a nerve. Keep digging at and pulling up and thoroughly examining those "coincidences" that you'd rather ignore...

televise

there are days when the book is best kept shut--just keep swimming--just keep swimming--and let others debate the definition of WIN. LOSS. reality is subjective. every dreamer is a champion and mediocrity is a !#@$%*& expletive. televise this. ready-set-tell me what you see. describe where it hurts. empires are built in the span of five minutes. believe it.

Detach

Detach from the plan because the plan is all you think about. You've given the plan all your power and now it's become a greater force than you are. I hope that wasn't the plan. Have you given away your last original thought, too? Some gifts are meant to be kept out of sight. I don't think anyone wanted you to rush through the trials and errors. Oh sweet tedium. Good stuff is mined from desolate waste, you know. I know. We're all in a hurry. I just wish you'd stop asking for what you've already been given.

Descending

And about that darkness...it's needed to put into perspective exactly how illuminated my thinking, my philosophy really is. Can I reason out a clear path for my life by using logic and historical lessons and unbiased observations of the people I sit next to every day? I think I can...I think I can... Or maybe it's all a game of descending into my own little solipsistic pit with the belief my talking stick is the prettiest.

But it's so plush and comfy down here!

The truth is, when the darkness is preoccupied, I want to know: What kind of power has control over chaos? Now that's some action I wouldn't mind getting in on. Enlightened, indeed.

Tunnel

Lynda's best friend Marnie told her that thing about the tunnel and the light at the end of it. Where the light isn't the illusion. The tunnel is. Lynda grappled with that one during the lunch break when she should have eaten her sandwich instead. It wasn't so much Lynda didn't understand what was/wasn't an illusion, or why it even mattered. She was just used to tunnels being necessary passageways to get from one place to the next, be it from town to town, or one state of mind to another. Consciousness seemed more like the illusion to Lynda, not light, or the opposite of light, or the conduit connecting everything. Lynda's gut told her she was on the right track (although it was most likely hunger and/or low blood sugar.) She just hoped she wouldn't be put on the spot to make a cogent argument on the subject when she so flagrantly disregarded the importance of feeding her brain with midday carbs and protein.

Vision

My problem? I've got too much vision. It fogs up my View-Master. When the little pictures spin so fast I can't tell where I'm at, or what it is I see, I consult the works of others. Stories that germinate inside someone else's melon provide a useful barometer for my foul weather days. Some rough tumult behind the ribcage. Am I the only one who gets seasick when I stand still? Read up, reach out, listen to what is hard to hear. What highs, what lows, what pressures, what limits, what sort of atmosphere does any human contend with? How did she, they, you find the break in the clouds? Maybe in the pages between front cover and back there's a roadmap to nowhere in particular. I'm told destinations are no great shakes. Journey on.

Gratitude

 

too much noise
not the right kind of stimuli
patience is in short supply
it gets pulled/punched/stretched/snapped
little things become big deals
when the permission slip is signed

Hold up...

Turn down the volume = no more noise.
Not everyone's story needs to be heard.

Practice gratitude when you're not in the mood.
The small stuff is what days are made of.

Make the choice. Say "Thank you."
Give the gift of patience.

Yummie

Bibi used the word often, but flipped back and forth between two spellings. When referring to matinee idols and buttery soft leather goods, "yummy" was the way to go. "Yummie," of course, was reserved for evenings devoted to filet mignon and dark chocolate pots de crème. Bibi made sure to prolong the "mmmmm" in the middle of the word when waxing philosophical about her favorite meal.

Nailed It

-- The more you chase after something, the less likely you are to actually getting it.

-- Ok, Gare. You pretty much had me all turned around with that 'nothing really matters, so go for it!' bit you said earlier. Now you're telling me if 'I go for it!' it's all a big wasted effort. Am I right?

-- Nailed it! Naw, just messin' with ya, Len. But really...no effort is wasted. Something's bound to happen if you take more steps forward than you do back. Make a choice, act on it. Don't get hung up on outcomes and expectations. That shit'll leave you primed for the *B.G.D. big time.

-- I like my expectations. Not willing to part with them, Gary old boy. I expect only the best. If I'm like averse to outcomes, guess I'd better get used to life being one long painful slog.

-- You're not hearing me. You chase after your big dreams and stuff, and whatever. But there's always something chasing you. Don't be afraid to let it catch up. Turn around and face it even. Might just be better than anything you could've ever imagined.

-- Yeah...I know you think you've done a fine job explaining your philosophy on life, and now my brain's expanded and all, but I don't see things the same way you do, Gary. I don't understand what goes on in your head half the time. Don't suppose I need to. We've been through a lot together and we're still friends. That's worth something, right there.

 

*Big Gaping Disappointment